Lead In 30 Podcast

The 10 Biggest Regrets in Leadership

• Russ Hill

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The 10 things he wish he knew when he was younger. Lone Rock Leadership co-founder Russ Hill shares a list of things he regrets not knowing when he was a younger manager. See what you think of the list and which ones you've unlocked through experience in managing people.

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Speaker 1:

My top 10 biggest regrets, leading other people. What do I wish I knew way back then, when I started managing teams, that nobody told me and it took me forever to unpack this, to gain this wisdom. I'm giving it to you, dishing it out the top 10 regrets things I wish I knew in this episode.

Speaker 2:

This is the Lead in 30 podcast with russ hill. You cannot be serious. Strengthen your ability to lead in less than 30 minutes okay, I gotta be fully transparent and honest.

Speaker 1:

Um, I'm using the title in this episode of Top 10 Regrets and, to be honest, I don't have regrets Like not really, because I think people who walk around with regrets, they live in the past, they're trying to undo something that can't be undone, and so, from just just allow me to get this out before I get to the top 10 list Plus, I got a couple of bonus ones in here I think you're going to really enjoy this episode. These are things that it took me forever to learn. My guess is, some of this list you're going to go like yeah, I know that I figured that out. Others are going to go oh my gosh, I've never thought about that, and I'm going to save you a lot of pain in sharing this wisdom with you without you having to go through the experience of gaining it. But before I do that, like I said, I don't really live with regrets. I live with mistakes, things that I didn't learn early enough. But I have this fundamental view of life, of this existence, and I think it's to learn, it's to gain experience, it's that that mistakes are baked in, they're part of the process, they're not something you walk around and go. Oh my gosh, I made a mistake. I can't believe I made a wrong choice. Yeah, we're trying to minimize them and reduce the number, but you're going to be curious, you're going to experiment, you're going to say things that are just stupid. You're going to repeat that process over and over again. You're going to develop bad habits. You're going to develop whatever. All these now learn from it and then get up and keep moving. And the people that over index on regrets, oh my gosh, when I was 13 years old, I did this thing. And when I was 24 and in my whatever well, you know what? People who don't let that go, and and and or, who was surrounded by people who won't let it go, they just I don't think they're healthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, whatever. So, anyway, that's my little soapbox.

Speaker 1:

Welcome in to the lead in 30 podcast. In less than 30 minutes, we'll give you a framework, an idea, a top 10 list, like we are today, best practice, story examples, something for you to consider implementing in the way that you lead others. My name is Russ Hill. I'm just one member of the team at Lone Rock leadership. We've got an executive consulting part of our firm and a off the shelf training, manager training solutions that we offer as well. You can find out more at lone rockio, lone rock leadership. We share a ton that we've got four basic courses. Because these are. There are companies out there that offer hundreds. We think that's foolish. We think their business models not going to grow dramatically, because quantity is not the game in an AI generation. It's. It's a, because a computer can spit all that out to you. It's about four focused areas being able to deliver results, being able to lead through change, being able to effectively and efficiently and at scale and speed, make decisions. And then how to show up powerfully in every aspect of your life. That's what we teach LoneRockio.

Speaker 1:

Okay, top 10. I'm just going to go right into this list. I typed these out, I wrote them up and I've given some thought to them. Are there others that would make this type? I spent like another day or two or three, or even like another hour or two or three. I would probably cross some of these out and put some other things on the list, but I was. I was getting ready for a podcast episode, brainstorming different things I wanted to talk about, and I thought this would be a fun idea, so I created a list, I deleted a couple, I added a couple in, I deleted a few more, I added a few, and so this isn't, this isn't, the final list. I'm just capturing some that are on my mind at this moment.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so here we go Top 10 regrets or things that I wish wisdom that I wish I had unlocked earlier in my leadership career, and this comes from my own experience. Well, it just comes from my own experience, which is managing teams, leading teams in different industries and in different areas of my life, as well as working as all of you who listen on a regular basis know working with executives and leadership teams, and we're talking about thousands and thousands and thousands of leaders over the last gobs of years. Okay, and so from all of that, that's where this comes. Okay, number one I wish that I would have spoken up more. I wish I would have spoken up more frequently in meetings and in my early leadership days. I was too quiet, I didn't weigh in, I wasn't present enough. I was there mentally. I'm not like one of those people that comes to a meeting and like veggies and just daydreaming.

Speaker 1:

You're like hello, is he even here? No, I was totally present by and large 99% of the time in meetings, my whole career, but I was a silent observer. I got this coaching early in my consulting career from other people on projects that I worked on. Right, they would say, russ, like you're thinking in the back of the room, you're contemplating things, and when you open your mouth you say some really interesting things. But you're, you don't open your mouth enough and, um, the team needs to hear from you. And so what I coach our clients on is, if you're in a meeting let's say you're in an offsite and it's going, you know, four hours, six hours, whatever If you haven't spoken up in a half hour, silence is diminishing your value. Right, I've done that episode in the three. Let's see, this is episode 378. This one you're listening to. So I've recorded 377 episodes before this and one you're listening to. So I've recorded 377 episodes before this. And in all of those I've done episodes on silence. Silence diminishing your value, I don't know once a year, once every two years, because I've been doing this podcast for a lot of years. And so, anyway, speak up, weigh, weigh in, offer your perspective. It might be agreeing with what's being said. It might be challenging what's being said, it might be offering a story or perspective or some data, but don't be a silent observer.

Speaker 1:

I, I. It took me too long to learn that Number two and this is tied to number one. Number two is I wish I had learned earlier to formulate two to three bullet points, or two or three takeaways, observations, insights to respond to or to respond with in meetings and conversations. In other words, I wish that I was more prepared to weigh in and have something of value to contribute in conversations, of value to contribute in conversations. So, as others are speaking, I'm writing down two or three things. What? What are my general observations? What are the things that I'm thinking? What insights could I offer? What opinions do I have? Not in some bleh where you're just belching all over the meeting, which is what some of you do, or you have colleagues that do that You're like I have no idea what she just said and it took her four minutes to say it and I couldn't describe it. Or she said 23 different things.

Speaker 1:

That is not an effective communicator. So I wish that I had learned at an earlier age to not only speak up more frequently and contribute, but then to formulate two or three bullet points, two or three thoughts or insights to share, so that when somebody came to me, hey Russ, what are you thinking on this? I don't go. Well, I am going to just make something up and here we go and I just said a lot of nothing. No, that is not how I want to show up. So I wish I had learned to formulate two or three observations, insights to share.

Speaker 1:

Number three I wish I had learned, I wish I had figured out at an earlier age that I wasn't the decision maker. I was invited to the conversation to inform the decision maker. Oh my gosh, with that I would have half as many gray hairs, I would not have nearly the wrinkles I have, I would not have the um. I would have a much healthier heart if I and I, from all indications would knock on wood. I think it's pretty healthy, but it'd be even better if I had figured that out. I spent so much emotion wasted, so much emotion, frustrated, just really bugged by the direction of certain decisions, thinking that I was a decision maker because I was invited to the discussion. I was in the room, I was. I was on the agenda, I was on the executive team I was on. Whatever I had the title of this, that or the other, I wasn't the decision maker. I was invited to inform the decision maker and once I figured that out, it was liberating.

Speaker 1:

Number four your. I wish I had figured this out, that I was not my job and you're not your job. I wish I had realized that I shouldn't define myself by the employer definition I work for or the position or title or department or part of the business that I was a part of. I had a lot of pride being a part of certain organizations. I still do, but it is one sliver of my identity and I over indexed on that too early in my career or for, like most, a big chunk of my career. And so what I noticed was when somebody was laid off, when somebody wasn't doing super well performance wise, when somebody didn't get a promotion, when somebody was fired, whatever it was that I could tell you stories. I have one friend that he got fired from a position. It just wiped him out like devastated and it's.

Speaker 1:

It's like a relationships right when you over index on the validation coming from one person. It's a thing right, and so that person breaks up with you or they view you negatively or they say something about. And if you're over indexed on that part of your identity attached to that individual or that group or this title or whatever, and it's just it's 90 percent of your identity, it's 80 percent, then you're, you're surrendering so much control and it's just not healthy. It's not it. And so often you'll hear people even say you know, I am this and whatever, and they're actually not that. That's part of who they are. And so, um, yeah, you're not your job, I'm not my job, I'm not because there's so much more to you. You're bigger than this. Don't, don't limit your identity to that.

Speaker 1:

Lots of things that could be. You know all I'm flat Like. Each one of these could be an episode. There's so much to unpack in each one of these items and we're only on item number four and I got a few more than 10 to get to Okay, so hopefully light bulbs are going off, hopefully. To get to Okay, so hopefully light bulbs are going off. Hopefully, there I've gotten to one, at least so far that you're like oh, I haven't really spent a time, a lot of time, thinking about that, or I knew that instinctively, or I've heard that before, I've thought it before but I forgot about it. And now I'm dealing with this thing and it's because I'm, I'm, I'm not, I, I'm leaning into this too much.

Speaker 1:

Okay, number five this one's interesting. It's more tactical Salary. Your salary is only one aspect of the job negotiation. I didn't realize that, I didn't know that you start, like with a new position or a promotion or a change of job or whatever. Yes, you start by negotiating the salary, but then you go places where the other party has room to give. It took me forever to figure this out. I put all of my eggs in the salary bucket, I'd negotiate that and they'd come down a little bit and I'd want to go up and then they'd land. We'd land at a figure and I think, oh, what I didn't realize till later was no, there are performance incentives. Some of you you know you're further in your careers, you're more experienced. This makes total sense and and and you've learned it but the younger you, the 22 year old, you are the 28 year old, you didn't know this. Probably some of you are at that stage now. So there are performance incentives and, by the way, make them shorter term.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I'm not a believer in these annual bonuses. What does that do? Like I don't. I mean, yes, we have to have them in some instances, but so many organizations have, like the, the biggest incentive, the or the only incentive for the masses, is this annual thing. And then we, we worked through the year, we worked through the year and and then we, we get close to it, we were like, ah, didn't get it and, and that happens two or three times, or we do get it and the person goes well, I actually don't think I did much to contribute, but I'm not going to say that out loud, because I got an extra $300, $700, $10,000, whatever it is, depending on your position, where you are and what the incentive is. So you make them shorter term. I think that incentives ought to be 90 days, because you reward the behavior you want to see Right, and so I, yeah, a year is just way too far.

Speaker 1:

And I remember when I was offered a chief strategy officer of an organization. They're like, when we sell this thing down the road, you're going to get X percentage and you're going to have these options or whatever. I'm like do you know how many things in this organization are outside my control? Do you know how long it's going to be before that day actually comes. No, I'm not interested in that. I'm going to go make that much money in the next two years. Give me some incentives, or give me higher commission, or give me this, that or the other, whatever it might be, and I want I want control over whether or not I got the incentive. I don't want to surrender it to four other people 40 other people, 400 other people, 4 000 other people, 40 000 other people.

Speaker 1:

You think that's an? Nah, um, so make them shorter term. Um, there are other things too besides the. So you've got salary that I can negotiate. I can negotiate a performance bonuses. By the way, if you're going to an, they're not willing to give you incentives tied to performance, like what you're, you're, you're in an organization that's like living in 1987, right, like, let's go. This is like that. Why wouldn't I reward you for making things happen or projects, project-based pay If you're not tied to revenue, you're not directly tied to revenue is the way to go.

Speaker 1:

I'm not paying you to show up. That's insane. Are you kidding me? The only way I do that is if I was in the middle of some small town somewhere. We had no one to choose from. That I yeah, I need to pay to have a body in the seat, a human, here. Otherwise, no, I'm going to. Project-based pay is so good. Complete these things, then make this amount of money.

Speaker 1:

The other thing you can negotiate is time off. I didn't realize that earlier. Like, oh, the company policy is two weeks, or when you get to five years or you get to 10 years, we'll give you another week. Oh, are you kidding me? And so, yeah, at the beginning you've got no street cred, or all you've got is a resume with a couple of degrees or one degree on it. If that, you don't have a lot of negotiating power. But after you perform for a little while, then it's OK. I know the company policy it's another three years before I get another week. But I actually want my vacation to double If you performed well. And remember compensation follows contribution, not the other way. So we don't pay you before you show up, except unless you've got incredible credibility. Then there's a signing bonus, but, but otherwise compensation follows contribution. And so you, you, you show up, lights out for a year or two, and then you go in and you've got some negotiating power.

Speaker 1:

Be ready to walk, be ready to go somewhere else. I remember when I first went into my first management position at a media company and I went in and I was fully prepared to walk. I had no idea where I would go, but I knew that I developed skills that were marketable, that somebody would want me, and that was. It wasn't going to be super hard for me to go find something. I believed in that. So I went in and I said, hey, this is the, this is the job I'm applying for. I think I'm qualified for it. I know there are other people who are super qualified for it too. I just want to let you know, if this does, if you guys end up not choosing me for this which is, you know, great, like that's all right, then I'm going to depart, like I'm going to go seek another opportunity. So if it works and it makes sense, and you want to give me this job, this title, put me into management Awesome, I'd love to be here longer. I'd love to contribute in more meaningful ways. If not, if it doesn't make sense, that's where I'm going. Boom, they gave it to me. Okay, you can negotiate computers. You can negotiate equipment. You can negotiate cars. You can negotiate working from home, more you can like there's all these things. I wish I'd known that earlier.

Speaker 1:

Number six visibility is everything. I thought the job of an executive was to build the strategy and to execute on the tactics. I didn't realize this visibility thing was a thing and so I've done episodes in the past about, you know, management by walking around and the experience I had in Washington DC as a young manager when Joel Oxley, the leader of WTOP radio in Washington D, I asked him for his secret and why how he created this you know, number one highest revenue generating radio property this is way back you know, number one highest revenue generating radio property this is way back, you know in the day. And Joel, what's your secret, man? And they said, walking around. And I was like seriously I didn't say it out loud because I was so embarrassed, so let down, so disappointed that Joel was such a simple, unsophisticated basic leader who hadn't really unlocked any real wisdom. That's what I thought as a young punk leader when he said that.

Speaker 1:

Then, after years and years and a lot of experience working with a lot of executives, do you know any hospitals that we've gone into as a firm over the years where the problem, the biggest problem with employee morale, is from a lack of visibility of the, the management. Do you have any factories I've been in that make everything from just all kinds of stuff food to stuff that's in your home, to whatever, to stuff that's flying in the air, stuff that's driving on the highway? How many factories I've been in and worked with leadership teams and what you discover? The real problem with retention and engagement and performance and quality and on time, and all that is the fact that they can't see the leaders. The leaders aren't visible. And so there's this us versus them mentality.

Speaker 1:

Visibility is everything, and so, in this day and age we live in today, it's not just making the rounds, walking. I wish I'd done that. Oh my gosh, did I screw that up? And as a young leader, I stayed in my office. I was working on strategy papers, documents. I was, you know, I was building the blueprint of what we were building, which is critically important, but I didn't. It would have only taken 30 minutes an hour a day. Get out, walk around, russ, be visible.

Speaker 1:

In today's day and age, it's calling calling somebody, just like and just call them randomly. Don't. Text them Like it's. I know it's shocking, I know some of you are uncomfortable, but call somebody out of the blue who haven't you spoken to in the last? And if they're on your team, if they're direct reports you haven't spoken to him in three or four days. What call them?

Speaker 1:

Okay, visibility is not email. Okay, visibility is not email. Oh, no, okay, um, yeah, that just makes me want to do another whole episode on reduce noise. A phone call is not noise. Noise is emails, like man. Just reduce the number of emails you send, so inefficient. If you're sending emails back and forth, there's software, slack, androsoft, teams and all this stuff that's out there. That's so much better. It's searchable, and then it's it. Well, yeah, oh my gosh, if you're sending a ton of emails and you're not sell like sales, that's the way you do it. Right, you're reaching out to clients. You have no other way to communicate. But you need to call those clients to be visible. But if you're an executive, you're a manager. Get out of the inbox, people, please. That's a whole episode. Okay, you are again 1987, maybe 1997. Get out of it.

Speaker 1:

Number seven define your own role. Define your own role. Don't have them define it. That limits your upward potential. Yeah, they're going to tell you the position is the director of whatever, the VP of whatever. Here are the basic things. Okay, great, that's the starting place. That's not the finish line. Go, define it, customize it, expand it in an appropriate way, after you're nailing or, by and large, building competency in the specific areas assigned to you, and then think broader.

Speaker 1:

Specialists don't get promoted. Generalists do. Specialists don't expand their income. Generalists do we could. There's just so many, so much we could say about that. We need specialists and organizations and so, if you're good, just kind of stand where you're at, stay the specialist. But if you want to grow, if you want to scale, if you want to learn, if you want to unlock additional wisdom, generalist, expand the role.

Speaker 1:

Number eight they are who they're showing you. They are oh my gosh, I wish I learned that earlier. So and so on the team. You hired them and they're leaning into these projects and they're talking about this and they're doing that, and you think, oh well, we'll talk to them and we'll have a conversation with them and we'll move this around. They are who they are showing you. They are. I got to find a simpler way to say that they are who they are, whatever. Who you, who they're showing you. It's important that they're showing it to you. Not you think they're that way, but they've actually demonstrated it. They've created consistent experiences around it.

Speaker 1:

We talk about this all the time in our firm. I talk about it with executives all the time that we're coaching. No, Linda is like. I know you want to give her the benefit of the doubt. That's so generous of you, but it's been six months now. She is. She naturally leans away from X. She naturally doesn't do Y.

Speaker 1:

Mike doesn't. He's not good at that thing. He doesn't want to do it. He's going to show up the same way. Stop fooling yourself, okay.

Speaker 1:

Now, having said that, um, let me go to. Uh, yeah, I was going to save this for the end, but I'll go to it Cause it's connected to that, cause this is on the flip side of that point, and so some of you are going to see this as a contradiction. I don't think it's that way. Um, and, and you'll just have to understand I don't have time in this episode cause I'm getting short on time and I got to wrap it up, but I've got a few more that I got to get to. But, um, the next item. I'd say so. This is now um number nine. Number nine is confirmation.

Speaker 1:

Bias is real. What I mean by that is some people aren't movable, so, in other words, they hold a belief about you. They have defined you a certain way. You created one experience, or maybe a couple of them, but you are movable. You do have the ability, the desire, the intent and the discipline, the motivation that you are showing up differently and they're not letting you, they're not giving you grace. You need to have empathy for those people, not resentment, because they're screwing themselves over. They're that way not just at work and not just with you. They're that way about their spouse. They're that way about their mother or father. They're that way about their children. They're that way about their neighbor. They're that way about everywhere.

Speaker 1:

One person, they the person forgets to take the trash out Once they've labeled them. The person doesn't call them on their birthday. They label them. The person doesn't do that. They label them. They're just looking for labels for everybody, and it simplifies their life. They can put you in a box. They don't ever have to think about it again. You are that way, man.

Speaker 1:

I could tell you a story. There's so much pain that I've experienced in the certain moments of my career because somebody wasn't movable and I thought what are you talking about? Like you've totally defined me the wrong way, or at least what you're saying. I am who you're saying I am. I don't want to be that person, so I'm totally committed to showing up differently than that. Nope, and I stopped. I learned to stop giving those people power in my life. Okay, we got to move to the next one, even though I could do a whole episode on that.

Speaker 1:

Number 10, buy-in matters a lot. You can't row the boat by yourself. What do I mean by that? It seems fairly obvious. Most of you are going yeah, I got that. Like I understand that. Duh. Well, yeah, but you just want everyone to get aligned right away. I sucked at this. Oh my gosh, have I sucked at this? I created all kinds of bad experiences in my career by not being patient enough with others to get to where I already was.

Speaker 1:

I'd been thinking about this thing, I'd been studying it. I've been strategizing around. I take it to the team and I expect them to be on board in a half a second, and when they hesitate, I'm getting all antsy and been out of shape. Okay, I could do more on that. I only have a few more and I need to get to them. Okay, buy-in matters a ton. You need to allow people, you need to put the effort in to get them aligned. Their or will matter a ton. Let's see. I already covered that one, actually, so I'm going to remove one and we'll just go with one more, and that is disrupt yourself every two to three years. It leads to the most growth. I wish I'd figured that out earlier.

Speaker 1:

There were, there are, areas of my career, periods of my career, where I waited too long. I stood on the cliff and I saw the fast moving river below that could take me to a beautiful part of the Canyon I hadn't yet seen, and yet I stood there and I stood there and I stood there and I wanted to jump and I wondered about jumping and I wondered what was around the corner. I thought I could float down that river and I thought I could swim in it and I thought it would be an amazing journey. But I just stood here forever and then, finally, someone or something did something. But I just stood here forever and then, finally, someone or something did something or I finally got to the end, and I've needed to be pushed too often and I've learned now disrupt.

Speaker 1:

Every time there's been a disruption. It's been wonderful, not in the moment, no, not in the moment. It's been scary, it's been, uh, intimidating, it's been humbling, it's been embarrassing sometimes in the changes, um, but then I get a little bit. You know, you get that raft going, you start swimming, whatever. You get around the corner of the king, you're like, oh my gosh, it's beautiful over here. Why was I stuck? Yeah, that was really pretty too, but this is next level.

Speaker 1:

So disrupt yourself, and my belief is that, for most of us, about two to three years is where you're getting comfortable. You developed competence, you've got. You got a system going for you. I mean, you've already now unpacked the wisdom that's available to you in this place. And you've already now unpacked the wisdom that's available to you in this place, and it's that your growth curve is slowing down. Don't wait for others to disrupt. Jump, got it. Those are some of my regrets, some of the wisdom that I've unlocked that I wish I had unlocked earlier in my career. I hope that's helpful. I hope I got you thinking about some different things that are going on in your life that you might adjust or think about or do differently, and that was a fun episode to do so. Anyway, appreciate you listening to it. Hope that I gave you some ideas to implement. That's what's on my mind in this episode of the Lead in 30 podcast.

Speaker 2:

Share this episode with a colleague, your team or a friend. Tap on the share button and text the link. Thanks for listening to the Lead in 30 podcast with Russ Hill.