Lead In 30 Podcast

The Power that Comes From Seeking Solitude

• Russ Hill

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In this episode Russ makes the case that solitude is a core leadership skill, not a luxury. From book insights to offsite design, Lone Rock Leadership co-founder Russ Hill shows how quiet time leads to clearer thinking, better decisions, and stronger teams.

• reclaiming attention from social media to read and think
• key ideas from Ryan Holiday’s Stillness Is The Key
• the cognitive cost of crowded rooms and constant noise
• solitude as a practice for clarity and self-awareness
• structuring offsites with protected alone time
• two modes of solitude: empty-mind and deep work
• practical ways to add thinking blocks to calendars
• prompts leaders can use to guide reflection

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About the podcast:
The Lead In 30 Podcast with Russ Hill is for leaders of teams who want to grow and accelerate their results. In each episode, Russ Hill shares what he's learned consulting executives. Subscribe to get two new episodes every week. To connect with Russ message him on LinkedIn!



SPEAKER_01:

It is unbelievably valuable to me in helping me come up with ideas and helping me see the big picture and helping me find peace in a turbulent world. And yet, it doesn't happen if I don't intentionally make it happen. What am I talking about? Glad you asked.

SPEAKER_03:

This is the Lead in 30 podcast with Russell. You cannot be serious. Strengthen your ability to lead in less than 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_02:

It's time to end the confusion. Get the new book by the founders of Lone Rock Leadership. See why executives at Lockheed Martin, Cygna, Teva, Chili's, and so many other companies are praising deliver. Why some leaders get results and most don't. You can download the first chapter right now and request two free copies shipped to you at LoneRock.io.

SPEAKER_01:

This is the Lead in 30 podcast in less than 30 minutes. We give you something to think about implementing to help you upgrade your ability to lead others. My name is Russ Hill. I make my living coaching, consulting senior executive teams at some of the world's biggest companies. Lone Rock Leadership is the name of our firm. We've got both an executive consulting company as well as a leadership training company. One of my kids asked me the other day on one of our calls. He said, Dad, what's a leadership training company? Like, define that for me. Well, it and it was a good question because I just assume people know that, right? And uh and I said, Well, you know, on the consulting side, we work with senior executive teams and they put us on a retainer, like a year-long project, and that usually 99% of the time turns into two or three or four or five or fifteen years over and over again as we bring value, hopefully. And um and so we work with these senior teams on an ongoing basis, and in the course of that, you come up with models and frameworks and methodology that works, and you see what the main friction points are for organizations and for teams and the biggest struggles that people have in leading people. And not not just, you know, things that would be nice to resolve, but what are where are the friction points in actually getting a group of people to deliver an outcome, to produce results, to grow the revenue, grow the market share, grow the customer satisfaction, improve patient satisfy patient experience, all those things. How do you get people to do that? You come up with some of those frameworks and models and methodology, and so on the leadership training side, we sell those models. We sell the training, we simplify as much as we can because complexity doesn't scale, but simplicity does. And so we simplify those models and frameworks, and then we we um certify people in that content. So HR L and D trainers can uh teach that to managers and organizations, and they can buy that from us. That's a leadership training company. Anyway, that's what we do, and uh and uh Lone Rock Leadership's the name of the company. You can find out more at LoneRock.io. Okay, I don't talk a lot in these episodes of the pod about various books. Um, I am getting back into the habit of reading uh on a regular basis, and I am loving it. I am absolutely loving it. And what I have found is that the time that I used to spend reading books um has been taken by wasting time. And most of that is on my phone. And so I've done a few things on my phone. I uh I still have on my phone um the various social media apps, but I don't use them that often. And and and I'm I'm I'm actually not missing them at all. I think it has been now about a year, about a year since I have regularly logged into Instagram, and I used to be hardcore into it. I used to post a decent amount. I had a business account and uh and a personal account, and uh, and and back in the day when Facebook actually innovated and seemed relevant. Isn't it crazy? It's absolutely crazy to me. I I think it's because Meta, you know, the company that owns Facebook and Instagram and whatever else, um, I think when they bought Instagram, they stopped caring about Facebook. And um, and the and I I I don't know, and I don't care in this episode, it's not about that. Anyway, all I know is Facebook's crap. And um, and so at least to me, like don't and don't be offended if you love it and you get a lot of value out. That's awesome. Keep using it. Um, but I I I don't. And um, and and so then I went to Instagram and I spent a lot of time, and it was good to be connected with people, and then I just found myself buying a lot of crap that I didn't need because it got in my feed. I don't know how many of you that has happened to, or I I I felt myself wanting stuff like certain clothes or certain possessions, because that the algorithm just did a really good job of that. And I found myself needing to post where I was and what I was doing and what cool thing our family was experiencing. And I don't think there's any problem with that necessarily, but I just got away from it. Anyway, so um I'm not telling you that you should or shouldn't. I'm just saying that uh I haven't missed it. And I and and that's not to say I will I never would get back on those apps or that I don't occasionally, or that I might not um become a diehard again at some point. But uh I think we all go through seasons and phases, and um and uh and the last year, year and a half, I have not been in a phase of doing that. And uh, and so that time has freed me up to be able to read more. And so if you saw my bedside table, it probably has on it right now 15 books, maybe 12, and um that I have ordered in recent weeks that are along the lines of stuff that I'm really interested in at the moment, that I want to study and dig deeper into. And so some of these books that I bought um are pretty deep. Like they're they're they're they're not as easy to read as as I typically like, and and and they're requiring some effort for me to really get in the zone and really read that sentence, that sentence three or four or five times to figure out what they're saying. Not all of them, but a few of them. And I'm enjoying that. And um, and there there's lots of reasons for that. One, I'm really, really interested in the mind. I'm so interested in how our minds work right now and why why certain things make us angry or how emotion works, and um, and and how you manage emotion and how leaders manage it, and um, and individuals, and what causes people to do certain things, and just a ton on psychology and thinking, and then there are other books that I'm reading as well that are on other topics, but but that that's one of them. And so today I want to mention one of the books. It's not a book review, but I I don't talk a lot about these books that I read because um most books I get one or two quick ideas out of, and I I don't really feel good about endorsing the whole book because most books aren't good. Or or they uh let me say that differently. Um I I like they're written, and I know this from having written four books now, and and I hope that in my life I will have written 10 or 20 because uh I got a lot to share, and I get to see a lot of things, and maybe those ideas will be valuable to someone, and I've kind of developed a way of writing, and uh, and so I really don't care if anybody ever reads them. Um I just find value in putting those ideas out into the world because I know how valuable they are and the impact that some of these ideas have on people if they implement them. And um, and so I don't I don't get in the practice of endorsing a lot of books or saying a lot about them because I I I I would need to point you to like three pages in the book of 500 pages because those are the three pages that got a lot of value in. Does that make sense? And I don't want to endorse the whole thing because anyway, whatever. In this episode, it's gonna be a little bit different, though, because I I've been reading a book that's super simple by an author that I like, and um and I'm not gonna necessarily well, yeah, I probably I guess I am gonna endorse it, but but and I'll tell you why I like it. And then and then I want to talk about one particular chapter that and why it's on my mind around leadership for leaders, people that are leading teams, leading organizations, leading business units. And the book, and don't judge when I say the title or let me let me interpret what I'm make my point, and then and then you you reserve judgment until I get a little deeper into my point, okay? The book is by Ryan Holliday. Do you know Ryan Holliday? Ryan Holliday um has written, he lives in Austin, Texas, or in South Texas. He's a simple guy, he's way into stoicism. If you know what stoicism is, the kind of the stoics, you know, back in Greek m uh um not well, not I guess just ancient Greek times and ancient Roman times and these these thinkers. And I'm not big into stoicism. I I think there's some value in some of it, but it yeah, anyway, it whatever. I there's some value in it, but there's value in a lot of things. And right, but Ryan finds a lot of value in Stoicism. I don't find a ton of value in it, but I find some interest in some of the ideas. And Ryan's written some books like The Obstacle is the way and Ego is the enemy. And the book that I'm gonna talk about today is been out for several years, and uh it made all the bestseller lists. Not that that means anything, because most of the time um you buy that title, um, and that's a whole nother episode. But uh so I really don't care what's on the bestseller list because there's a lot of crap that's on the bestseller list, and it's somebody paid money to get that spot. So it doesn't mean a ton to me. Um but this particular book has has done decent, and the book is called Stillness is the Way, or Stillness is the Key. Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday. It is a very, very simple read. Ryan Holliday is a is a is a simple guy, and uh, and I'm a fan of his. I I I he's a thinker, and one of the things that I've realized is that, and I think part of it has to do with my life experience. I don't elevate very many people. Like I'm not somebody that gets starstruck and that gets into celebrity, and I don't really like well, like award shows, you know, there were just some award shows on television. I I've never gotten into them. I I I don't care about celeb because that's just a and I think it comes from my media days, having met multi- you know, and interviewed and been face to face with multiple presidents of the United States, interviewing a ton of governors, being around senators and politicians, and and back in my even my music radio days, being around different um artists that you know just thousands and thousands of people would would gush over and realizing they have so many flaws and they have so many issues, and okay, they so they've got a good voice, and that's awesome, and they make amazing music. But in all these other areas, they're sub subpar. Like, you know, they're maybe aren't whatever. They're just they're just like you. They just have a better voice. Or they're just a regular person that's flawed in so many ways, but they have lobbyist friends that help them get into elected office, or they it it do you get my point? I'm not trying to demean anyone. I just doesn't mean and then I've you know worked with a ton of different executives at in the world's biggest companies, and and a lot of them are really good people. And a lot of them are just mediocre. And actually, yeah, I mean, if they some of them, if they wrote a book, I wouldn't read it. Because anyway, anyway, I I don't I I don't mean anything because they're really there are other people, man, I would read every word that they said. And so it it it it I I don't really get starstruck by people and I realize we're all humans and we're all trying to we're all struggling through the same experiences and just because that person wrote a book or what did whatever, it doesn't mean necessarily anything. So so Ryan's a simple guy, but he he's an interesting thinker, and I don't think that he's um or anyone else, me too, like the books that we've written, I'm just sharing what I learned, right? I don't claim to be the expert. Ryan doesn't claim to be the expert or anything, he's just studying some things and learning some things and sharing them. And so um, and I I like the ideas, and I'm gonna consider some of them, and and some of them I find a lot of value in, and some I don't. Anyway, in this book, Stillness is the key, kind of talks about just the value of stillness. The value of another word of that might be peace, fulfillment, satisfaction, joy. You know, you could you could use a lot of different words that he might not pick, but that go along with it. And um, and so I actually like this book. He divides it into three different sections, and I'm not gonna get into this, isn't a book review, but um, but I I and I don't they're parts of the the way that it's written. I like parts of it, and and other parts I'm like, dude, just get to the point of this chapter. Like, I don't need another story about JFK or another story about Mr. Rogers or or whatever. Some of these are interesting, but you know, I'm not trying to pattern my life after Mr. Rogers or uh or JFK or somebody else. But but there's some there there's still value in this. And the the chapter I want to pick out is about solitude. Solitude. And I took too way too long getting you to that point, but but here is the the uh I'm gonna read actually a couple lines. This is really interesting. I'll I'll just get into it and then react to it. He says one recent study, Ryan Holiday writing in Stillness is the key, um, he says this in one chapter. One recent study found that subjects would rather give themselves an electric shock than experience boredom for even a few minutes. That's really interesting to think about. Do you agree with that? Do you do you think that's true as you think about your social circle, as you think about yourself, as you think about the people close to you, as you think about the team that you lead, as you think about the team that you're on? Do you think that have you seen that? One recent study found that subjects would rather give themselves an electric shock than experience boredom for even a few minutes. That certainly was me at 13, maybe even 17 years of age. That is not me today. Oh man, I would do anything to be bored. You know what I mean? Um, not really. But you know, it's interesting how your perspective changes, right? And then I'm gonna read a couple of other paragraphs, and I want you to think about this and then we're gonna react to it. And then we'll talk about, we'll we'll process why this is something I'm bringing up in a podcast episode about four leaders and effectively leading others. The name of this chapter, and he writes these short little chapters, which is one of the things I I do appreciate about his writing. Um, this book, gosh darn it, doesn't have numbers of chapters. There's like 10, 15, there's probably 30 chapters in this little book. Super easy to read. You can read it in two nights. Um and uh and and this particular chapter is called Seek Solitude. It's deep in the book, really deep, page 215. It's almost the end. And um, and these are these are the sentences I highlighted from from this particular page. It is difficult to think clearly, just think about this, okay? Ryan Holiday talking to us. It's difficult to think clearly in rooms filled with other people. Is that true? Is that true? Because that's really interesting because in business, in most of our organizations, we're in the room with other people a lot. Like virtually in person, like a lot. It's difficult to think clearly in rooms filled with other people. I think he's right. I believe that. So think about the implications of that. Because we're thinking in that meeting, but but our thinking is influenced by the loudest voices or the most passionate voices or the persuasive voices, or those with authority, or those in certain positions. They're they're influencing, filtering, affecting our thinking, aren't they? So it's difficult to think clearly in rooms filled with other people. Going on here, it's difficult to understand yourself if you are never by yourself. Wow, I love that sentence. I absolutely believe that. And one of the reasons, you know, we we all read and and listen to music and and vote for people that reinforce our worldview, right? Like we're looking through the world for, yeah, I believe that. Well, so this is a belief of mine. And and I I I Ryan Holiday didn't introduce me to this idea. It's actually part of how I operate. Yet he summarizes it in a really concise, effective use of words. It's difficult to understand yourself if you are never by yourself. Wow, do I see that everywhere in my life on so many levels? So many levels. So we could do a whole episode on that sentence. It's difficult to understand yourself if you're never by yourself. In fact, I think one of the coping mechanisms, this is a different episode, so I'm not gonna go too deep in it, but it's really good for us to think about this kind of the kind of thinking I'm doing right now on psychology and and uh and thinking, because I think it's so important to effectively lead lead others to to to know how their minds work and um or how people's minds in general work. And so um you a lot of people cope. A coping mechanism is noise, apps, games, social network, crowds. Do you believe that? Have you seen that? I certainly have seen that. People that um yeah, that I'll just leave it at that. Okay, the next sentence. It's difficult to have much in the way of clarity. You know how much I like that word. It's Ryan Holliday says it's difficult to have much in the way of clarity and insight if your life is a constant party and your home is a construction site. People don't have enough silence in their lives because they don't have enough solitude.

SPEAKER_00:

They don't seek out or cultivate silence. Solitude is the school of genius.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow. Do you believe that? Do you believe what I just read? People don't have enough silence in their lives because they don't have enough solitude, they don't seek out or cultivate silence. Solitude is the school of genius. Here's my point. Here's what I want to say. Um, I think you need solitude. And I think too many of you listening right now don't have enough of it. Some of you, you you like you're good at with it. And we're all a little different, right? We're some of us are more extroverted. In my family, there are some of us that um that could be around other people socially 24-7. Like we we don't even need. There are people in my family that don't even need any moments of solitude. Now, I think that they do because of the points that that Ryan is making, but but they would be okay. They like they would function. They'd they're emotionally, mentally, they'd be fine. I'm not that person. So with me, I'm totally good hanging out with you socially, being around you, being in front of on a stage in front of 2,000 people at whatever conference and being in the zone or or working with a senior team in a very demanding situation where the stakes are very high. I'm totally good with that, being with them for four hours or six hours or really whatever. But then I need solitude. I seek it out. And that might be the plane ride home. That might be the hotel room, that might be in the rental car or the Uber or whatever else. Um, and I'll tell you one example of this. I'll give you some different ways to think about this. So let's say we're having an off site with uh with our with the leadership team of our firm. I find a ton of value of being in the room with them, brainstorming, thinking about different. Different things, debating it, having that discussion. I just get so much value out of that. And then I need an hour alone. I need two hours alone. And I am 10 times more valuable on day two of the strategic offsite if you gave me an hour or two alone.

SPEAKER_00:

Not at 11 o'clock at night. At 4 p.m. At 6 p.m. At 9 p.m.

SPEAKER_01:

when I still have energy. Right? So sometimes we structure these offsites or these conferences where we're going from 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. all the way to 11. Like there's cocktail iron, there's we're trying to maximize this and team building activities, and we're doing this and that, whatever, which is which is all good. But are you building in solitude? Are you giving people that time to process, to zoom out, to consider and think about the discussion we had yesterday and to formulate it into some opinions or some positions or some ideas or proposals or action items or whatever it is. And then are you giving them a chance to share that the next day? And this isn't this episode's not just about strategic offsites. I I just I think you oughta I think you oughta um process a few different things. I'm inviting you in this episode to think about a few different things. Do you um do you intentionally seek solitude in your life? Where and that might be daily, that might be weekly, it might be quarterly. I was reading, in fact, it might have been in this book or it might have been somewhere else, I'm not sure. I'm reading so much right now, and um, and and and this is an executive um whose name I won't share, but this executive um they they intentionally build into their schedule two weeks of solitude per year. So this is an executive we we we all know the name of, uh that that they're famous, and uh, and so twice a year they go away to a cabin or wherever um just by themselves to think, to be alone. I I I think that is so smart. And uh I I've done episodes in the past, if you've listened to this podcast for a long time, you know that I'm a big believer in intentionally getting off the grid. I try to do it twice a year for an extended period of time, usually in July and usually in December, and just off the grid, completely removed. And um, and so it's a form of this, but not completely. Like I don't get by myself for a day or two or four or seven, and I don't know that I am would would actually implement that exact system, but I build it in. And the people who work closely with me, they would they'd be able to tell you that they see this pattern in me. And I I really appreciate that Ryan is sharing this as an idea for others because I haven't shared it that way before. And so it gave me the idea. I thought, you know what, I ought to talk about that in a pod, one of the episodes of the pod, because um I I this is something that I found a lot of value in. Solitude. So seeking solitude. Then what do you think about in those moments, whether it's daily, and for some of you, this is meditation. For some of you, this is studying scriptures or journaling or whatever else. I I think you need to do it. Uh I think there are two different forms of this that are valuable. One is to just do nothing. So, Ryan actually, in one of the other chapters, he talks about, and I appreciate in part three of his book, he talks about the impact of stillness on you physically and what you need to do physically. Um, he talks about it from a mental standpoint, from kind of a spiritual or soul standpoint. And then in part three, he talks about it from a physical standpoint, the the habits um, the and the things that you can do to create stillness or joy or fulfillment or peace or whatever in a in uh your life, which I think is critically, critically important to be mentally, um, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially healthy. Um, is is to develop that. Um and and so he talks about like, for instance, going on a walk and thinking about nothing, like like completely pushing everything out of your mind. And and and so there, so with solitude, there one category of it is you're just kind of you're not thinking about anything, or you're getting off the grid, or you're just um I I was I was listening to a podcast, um, uh a YouTube video, was it yesterday or the day before, from Julian Treasure. I interviewed Julian a long time ago in the first hundred episodes of this podcast, years and years ago. He he's an expert on listening. And uh so I went back and I was um watching some videos actually at the gym, I think day before yesterday, of Julian. And I I wish he had more good videos on YouTube, but he's got a few, but they aren't great. And uh, but I found a ton of value in talking to Julian about listening. And one of the things he talked about in this YouTube video, in the in the couple of minutes, I did find value was he talked about um when you're outdoors or different places listening to the soundtrack and trying to get different listen to different channels of audio. So for instance, and he played a he played a an audio clip of being out like at a lake, and on one track of audio, you're listening to the birds. And on another track of audio, if you will, another channel of audio, at the same time you can hear the water, you know, the the the the current or the ripples or whatever. On another channel, you can hear some wind, the gentle breeze. And he talked about how, you know, one of the skills that he advocates in other people, one of the one of the uh practices or tactics or things that he advocates to become a better listener is to be in uh an atmosphere like that and decipher, seek out, um, be conscious about the multiple channels of audio. That really helps you be more intentional in listening. And um and and and again, if you listen to this podcast for a long time, you know that I think the most underdeveloped skill in leaders is listening. It it just is like we aren't really listening to what she said or he said or that data says or the customer, like really listening. And I'm I don't claim to be the expert at it, I just know the impact that has on somebody's ability to come up with good ideas or to um hold an efficient meeting or a conversation because you're actually addressing what was said rather than adding something else to the discussion that has nothing to do with what the team or individual or whatever just said. But you think it did, and you're so anxious to say it, but you're not actually listening to this person. And then I know the impact that it has on relationships and other things like that, so that's why it's of interest to me. I'm not good at it, but I'm committed to it. I'm I'm I I understand the value of it. And so um, so it so in in solitude, there's this one aspect of doing nothing, game, getting completely off the grid and just being still. And then there's this other purpose or intent of um of um solitude, where no, you're not just trying to get off the grid, you're actually trying to get some stuff done. You're trying to think deeply about strategic direction for the organization or the department. You're trying to think about what would be the best use of time in that upcoming meeting. You're thinking about how are you going to open that meeting? You're thinking about what you really need to say to that person in their one-on-one and how you're gonna how you're gonna structure that. You're thinking about strategic moves, what really needs to be done in order to propel the organization forward in a meaningful way. You're thinking about what are the priorities that I need to communicate to this person or that team or whatever else. Like you're you're you're you're really thinking. And so I could go on and on and on, but we're at time. So I gotta I gotta I gotta wrap up my my thoughts here. Solitude, you all. That's what I want you thinking about. How much do you seek it out? How intentional are you? Do you think that there's a lot of value in it? I mean, do you even agree with the premise of this episode that it it's that there's a ton of value to be to be gained in it? How how are you seeking it out? What are you doing with it when you when you when you intentionally seek it out? How is it helping you? How could it help you more? How are you allowing your people to have moments of solitude? Or do you look at the the schedule and outlook or whatever, Google Calendar, whatever your organization uses, and you're like, oh my gosh, everybody is constantly in meetings, and we're not giving them an opportunity for solitude. And we're and and things to think about. Anyway, I have found a ton of value. It's actually one of my, I don't know if it's a secret weapon. I haven't thought of it that way. I'm grateful that somewhere along my journey, this became clear to me.

SPEAKER_00:

The value of quiet, the value of silence, the value of solitude.

SPEAKER_01:

And it has made an enormous difference in my life and in my career, and in any ability that I might have been able to develop in leading others. Solitude is what's on my mind in this episode of the Lead in Thirty Podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

Share this episode with a colleague, your team, or a friend. Tap on the share button and text the link. Thanks for listening to the Lead in Thirty Podcast with Russell.